My Teenage Crush on Mark Hamill and Other Reasons I Love Star Wars

My First Fandom Love – None of That Insta-Love Crap Here.

As a kid, I had seen bits and pieces of Star Wars because my dad had recorded them off TV onto a VHS tape (links provided here on out for those who don’t know what I’m talking about). The only scene I remember was some guy saying he thought the weird animal smelled bad on the outside or something like that. And I think they got lost in the snow?

Then jump to 1997 where there were rumors that Star Wars was going to be in the theaters again. I was in middle school at the time and my dad was beyond excited for me to see it in the theaters. I had since watched and remembered more bits and pieces of the TV versions (that were full of commercials you had to fast-forward through) of The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, but I had never seen A New Hope. The Empire Strikes Back is really confusing without seeing the first film. Like WHY is this whole planet covered in ice? Like, really.

So, I saw Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope for the first time in theaters and I was on the edge of my seat. Are they going to blow up the Death Star? ARE THEY? I had never seen a movie like that and my nails were chewed to nubs by the time it was over. My dad was a little bitter because I just skipped happily on home and watched the other two. HE had to wait 2 years between each movie.

My Teenage Crush on Mark Hamill

I remember one day that I went to visit my dad at work. His work had THE INTERNET. It was very exciting. A lot of homes back then didn’t have computers let alone the Internet. This is 1998 people. Think of everything you do on the Internet today. It didn’t exist in 1998. Except maybe Yahoo.

So my dad was all excited to show me the Internet. I had never used it before.

Me: What am I supposed to do on the Internet??

Dad: uh……….surf?

Me: What does that even mean?

Dad: It means you look at a website and click stuff to go to other websites.

(FYI good search engines were pretty much non-existent)

Me: …

Me: Why?

Dad: It’s the Internet! I really thought you’d be more excited. Just…look up stuff you like.

Me: ok……

*Looks at computer*

Me: I like Star Wars

*Wonders how you get Internet to do Star Wars things*

*After 3 hours of “surfing” I find some cool screen shots and print them*

*I’m really not exaggerating*

*Also find out from surfing that Mark Hamill is as old as my dad*

*My crush on Mark Hamill is dead X_X*

*Decide I can pretend he’s not old and keep my crush anyway*

Most of my screen shots from the Grueling Interent Search were of Mark Hamill. The one of him staring at the double sun. Squeee!!!! Fanrgirling!!! Of course, I fangirled by myself because everyone else fully realized that he was old now and there were Backstreet Boys to fangirl over.

Why did I have a crush on Mark Hamill? I know he’s whiney, but he tries SO HARD to be a hero and he’s kind of not very good at it. It’s adorable. His hair. And when he finds out that Darth Vader is his father, that sad face just melted my 14 year old self. And the first girl he likes is his sister. How tragic! You can like me! I’m not your sister. Luke Skywalker was sweet and cute and I was in love.

I Love Star Wars So Much – Take All My Money

So I did what every normal fangirl does – I bought everything I possibly could to fuel my addiction.  Here are just a few of my favorite Star Wars things :)

The unabridged sountracks – the only physical CDs I still own.

The disk looks like the Death Star! The liner notes are so cool, too :)

• I got the unabridged soundtracks with all 2 hours of music for each film. I listened to them so much I could tell what was happening in the movie just from the music. (I STILL CAN)
• I bought the Special Edition films on VHS and watched the entire trilogy every week for months on end. (Because of this, I can sing that bonus musical number in Return of the Jedi WORD FOR ALIEN WORD)
• I got a really nice notebook for all my Internet screenshots.
• And I got a Trivial Pursuit game that I won every time. After a while people stopped playing with me because sometimes I’d win without them even getting a turn. I miss that game.

My Star Wars life was complete.

UNTIL.

George Lucas announces he is going to make the prequels. AHHH!

I Have A New Crush. BONUS: He’s Not Old

I was in high school by this time. The opening day of Episode I sold out everywhere. It was the first time in my life that I had seen movie theater tickets sell out. I had ridiculously high expectations for Episode I.  I saw it! I loved it! I thought about it! And I realized that  the only thing that really happens in that movie is a podrace. I still like it, though.

For Episode II, I was a senior and didn’t want to miss opening day this time. I got tickets to the Jordan Commons theater but the only show available was in the morning during school. So I got up the nerve to ask my mom.

Me: Mom, can I skip school in the morning and go see Star Wars?

Mom: Sure.

Me: O.o

Episode II was awesome! A bunch of my friends came. You should have heard the gasp that came out of my goody two shoes friend when Anakin said they could “keep it a secret.”  And wow is Anakin cute.  And kind of a bad boy. Me likey.  And since this movie just came out, I know for a fact that he is not old. BONUS.

I got home from the movie just in time for my AP Psychology test, but my mom wants to write a note first to excuse my absence.

 

 

Mom: What should I say is the reason you missed school?

Me: I don’t know. Just say I was at the doctor or something. It’s not like they read them.

Mom: I can’t lie…

My Excuse Note: Jessica had to go watch the new Star Wars movie to study for her AP Psychology test.

I got no reaction out of the office attendent when I handed it in. But I’ll have you know that I got the highest score you can get on that test. My “studying” totally worked.

When Episode III came out, I was married to my husband who had never even really seen Star Wars (Husband: Yes I have! Just…not all the way through.). I was determined to fix that. He came with me to see it and said he liked it the most out of all the Star Wars movies.  It’s been a process with many discussions of voluntary suspension of disbelief. I’ll tell you what, though, is he glad to have me around since he works with computers and is the only computer geek on the planet that knows nothing about Star Wars. I’ve saved face for him many times.

Episode III is my favorite (Behind Return of the Jedi, of course.).  It’s epic and sad with stunning music.  My favorite music is during the scene where Anakin is trying to decide whether or not to go to the dark side and Padme is looking out the window….Beautiful.  When sadness is done right, it can be so beautiful.

An Old Flame Re-ignited

Since the last movie was out, and I had read all the Star Wars books at the library, my focus turned to fangirling over other things. But this whole Episode VII has reawakened the original fan girl in me. I want to get back to reading a bunch of books and playing trivial pursuit and seeing if I’m still good at it.

I’m really excited to talk about Star Wars all month long. Thanks so much for joining me!!

Tell me in the comments why you love Star Wars. I’d love to hear your stories!